Something that greatly affects the outcome of a session with a Mistress is my mental state going in. Am I up or am I down? Do I arrive feeling positive, confident and motivated or do I arrive feeling bad about myself, negative and depressed?
I’m lying on the bed, tied, immobile. Already sore and exhausted after she’s worked over my nipples till they are sensitive and raw. A bowl appears. It’s full of clothes pegs. She pushes my legs apart so she can reach my cock and balls. I can do clothes pegs. I’ve been here before. I’ve had more then one on at a time; once as many as six. Bitey little pegs. But her plans for me turn out to be more ambitious. Far more ambitious.
*I’m parking the car. Five minutes*
Deep breath. Why do I do this to myself? The hotel room is carefully arranged: the bench central so she can move around it; a cushion so I am positioned just right for her; blindfold ready. I am intoxicated with fear and adrenaline.
When I read this powerful piece of F/m filth from Skinshallows, I thought it was burst-into-flames hot. She asks her submissive to accept a succession of increasingly violent assaults in order to satisfy her sadistic and sexual need. I related to it, not least for its fantastic fusion of violence and intimacy. My only issue with it was that it was written from the dominants perspective. So (with the author’s permission) I have turned it around.
And YES, this kind of stuff really does go on in my head!
First time I posted a Sinful Sunday.
As a masochist I have a love/hate relationship with bruises. I love the mark of where the Mistress has been, the reminder of something illicit, dark, sensual and challenging. I hate having to hide them when I return to my vanilla life, the risk of discovery, the feeling that my clothes cover a lie I don’t want to tell.
This particular bruise carried with it a high risk of discovery as it peeked above my underwear, unwelcome; discordantly shouting “look what I did.” It’s faded now but the memories remain.
A blog about this bruise and what it made me want to do is here.
More Sinful Sundays here:
The ‘identity’ prompt was well timed. My BibulousOne kinky masochist persona and that other one, the one with whom BibulousOne shares a skin, are about to return to the everyday vanilla life from which they have both been taking a small break. The notion of identity is important to me because these are not, in truth, separate personas. They are both parts of the one whole, complete ‘me’. The challenge comes from the constant need to hide part of my identity, an important part of my identity, from those who mean the most to me.
Over the last 6 months I have been travelling deeper into what is known in BDSM as “Impact Play.”
IMPACT: Someone hitting you. PLAY: For fun.
I mean, it has to be fun or it wouldn’t be called PLAY, right?