In her second post melody talks about her chastity and the development of it through her longstanding relationship with a Mistress. I find the way she describes the development of melody as a distinct identity, an important part of his/her complete makeup, very compelling. It’s a deeply personal tale of growth in BDSM and I am delighted to be able to share it with you.
Kinks and fetishes can be active and practised at any time, by anybody of whatever BDSM persuasion. When my submission incorporates my kinks and fetishes it can elevate them to new levels.
For anyone unfamiliar with male chastity, the basic premise is a wonderful fetish that is surprisingly common in the submissive mindset. It’s still about sex, just looking at it from a different angle. The idea of giving up your sexual behaviour to the control of a dominant is paradoxically highly arousing to those newly exploring this fetish.
Very few actually get it. Most are only interested in an extended tease and denial believing that they are being submissive because they’ve offered a female their cock to play with. A chastity device here can be used for CBT, a painfully bad fitting device may be part of the play.
Where chastity enters the world of D/s is when the male is prepared to give some commitment to endure. The same need to endure as part of submission I touched on in the previous post. Here a device needs to be able to be worn long term. It won’t be comfortable, but it has to be endurable.
Curious female readers may be interested to know that at this point the application of chastity on the nascent submissive is about the fastest and most effective male training tool ever devised. Through denial of his sexual urges the sub learns very quickly that his sexual release is dependent on the approval and good graces of the keyholder. Over time, this is likely to lead to him sublimating his needs to fulfilling hers. The emotional highs and lows during this time can be breath-taking.
I was snared this way, in that after a couple of lovely weeks dealing with a “fluffy domme”, I found myself wearing punishment spikes for 3 weeks. Sleep deprivation induces strange states of mind. Eventually I had an epiphany and we were in the sunny uplands of a tentative and growing D/s relationship with chastity as a bedrock to that lifestyle. Yes, she’d been playing me for those 3 weeks and she had a whale of a time.
When a fetish becomes lifestyle, is it really a fetish anymore? Here’s one experience to demonstrate how lifestyle chastity affected my world view and level of submission.
We were celebrating the 500th day of a lockup, I’d made up a hamper with champagne and we spent the day in her dungeon with me in my best satin frills and heels. Tied to the bench she explored the frills, removed the device and proceeded to stimulate. Slowly at first, then aggressively. All very nice until I could feel myself getting close. I began begging her not to, descending in to howling tears. She went all the way to completion because, as she pointed out later, she was the domme and wanted that orgasm as a lesson in control and humility. This was one of the most comprehensive mindfucks I’ve ever had – and I didn’t even get to enjoy the orgasm !!
After that, the chastity became permanent.
D/s and chastity played a big part in starting to develop “melody” as a distinct identity. My sense of having feminine thoughts goes back to early childhood. With or without a D/s relationship I’ve been a cross-dresser for decades. What starts as a sexualised fetish becomes relaxing and normal. I definitely have a fetish for high heels – wearing them, I mean.
In the years between the domme who first named melody and my current domme the conditioning of permanent chastity never left me. Sex and the ability to be male became less important. Quiescent “melody” was still a distinct presence with a female self-image and occasional bouts of dressing. It was almost as if I’d gone through chastity and come out the other side and with gender thoughts becoming more important they led to fantasies of castration.
And that’s how I met my current domme. She advertised hypnotic castration on FetLife. I’ve had some amazing serendipitous moments that have brought significant people in to my life, this was one of them.
Does hypnosis work ? The trite answer is, it does if you really want it to. However, the mind doesn’t come with a user manual, so results may manifest themselves in unexpected ways. For reasons of narrative I won’t expand here, but I’m happy to respond to questions.
We evolved the hypnotic sessions to encompass FemDom hypnotic emasculation and feminisation. With the hypnosis working it became obvious that we couldn’t continue the mental submission in isolation. Six months on from the first hypnotic session saw me walking through the door for our first CP session. It’s safe to say that without the hypnosis first I would never have approached her.
D/s to me has always been entirely mental. A domme wielding a cane is still playing as much in my head space as on my bottom. I described in the last post about becoming mentally transparent as a domme strips away the layers of my mind. Most dommes can do this instinctively. But think of the potential in D/s with a domme who knows exactly what she’s doing in controlling the mental space ? Combining mental manipulation and control with CP to create a single holistic submissive relationship is a wonderful discovery. It’s a platform from which melody thrives and is rapidly evolving into a significant standalone ego.
And what about chastity in this new era? It’s no longer a concern with respect to controlling sex and sexuality but oddly enough melody finds a very restrictive device to be like a comfortable piece of jewellery. My domme has her own fascination with it due to the large urethral insert. She encourages melody to wear it in the safe knowledge that she doesn’t have to do any of the hard and tedious work that being a keyholder can entail.
For anyone generally curious to know more about chastity the best and most vibrant resource on the Internet is Chastity Mansion. It is packed with information and helpful people with a better signal to noise ratio than most BDSM interest sites.
One of the admins for Chastity Mansion also runs her own small site. She is super-friendly to curious females. Go see Mistress Jules, she’ll be happy to chat and give advice (I asked her).
So there you are. I hope you find melody’s exploration of chastity and sexuality interesting. Please provide feedback and your own thoughts in comments. I know from my personal experience how rewarding it is to discover the warm, supportive, non-judgemental community that live here.
The final post in this series will explore the concept of Holistic Femdom