I know more about the female orgasm than the male. This may seem a strange observation, though logical when you consider that, while I have been lucky enough to witness quite a number of female orgasms, I only have that level of familiarity with one male one. Mine. (Actually there was that time when Elita’s man caned both of us and then they got together and…. No, I’m not going to link you to it!)
Male orgasms in porn, not a subject I have studied with any great diligence, seem all to conform to a universal standard: a period of rapidly increasing movement followed by a few grunts; a quick spurt and then we move on to the next scene.
It’s always over very quickly and the man never seems in any way affected by it afterwards.
When I masturbate (Is this all getting too much? Feel free to move along if it is!) the reality is not so different from the porn orgasm. However, in the right set of circumstances, I also experience a very different type of orgasm and have no idea if this is unusual.
To achieve this other orgasm requires the presence of another person, my Mistress for example, a period of prolonged build-up with lots of sensual stimulation and the application of a painful stimulus just before the orgasm happens. This might be nipple pain, or face slapping or electric shocks from an eStim machine. If she’s in the mood, it can be all three simultaneously.
This orgasm is like a dam breaking, a huge release of energy, flooding me with sensations and causing uncontrolled shaking, dying away only slowly to leave me with aftershocks rippling through my body for minutes. This orgasm is so immersive, so completely dominating of my senses that it leaves me feeling lost and vulnerable, curled up deep inside myself. I relish the way I feel able to give myself up to it so completely, seeming, in accepting such vulnerability, to offer this one final act of submission to my Mistress.
I can be lying there five minutes later, believing it all done, when a final aftershock will grip me, shaking my core and making me arch my back.
After this orgasm, I want to be touched, just lightly; a reassurance of her presence rather than an embrace, until I return to the room. My Mistress understands these things and allows me to enjoy the feeling of floating alongside her.
Her reactions when this happens suggest that it is, in some way, not “standard” or “normal” to experience orgasms of such intensity, so far removed from the stock portrayal of the “wham, bang, thank you Ma’am” male orgasm of all porn forever.
I’ve no way of knowing, because I can only know my own orgasm (apart form that time when… etc etc!)
I’d love to hear (here or on Twitter) from other men, or indeed partners of other men, about whether I am particularly blessed, or whether others have similar experiences.
Inspired by my last post I had a very good session yesterday. Unexpectedly allowed to climax after only 18 strokes given in batches of six, though they were full on with a fairly heavy cane, and certainly left a few weals which I can still feel. Delicious sensations during the breaks. Orgasm lasted several seconds. Score: 8/10. Happily no penalty strokes afterwards. Very stimulating glimpses of old-fashioned white nylon knickers up the pencil skirt during the 3 edging breaks. Next time It will be the 2 minute hourglass which dictates events: Two minutes continuous pleasure (no stopping allowed) alternating with two minutes caning, the session only ending when able to climax within the two minute break. Plenty of scope for my skilled mistress/wife to pack quite a lot of strokes into the two minutes. Even with 8 seconds between strokes it’s a dozen or more. Also scope for her to go slow and withhold just as the climax approaches and the sand Is about to run out. As you can imagine close attention is paid to the hourglass throughout, in between peeks up the skirt of course. Highly recommended.
Tip: Non-dominant hand, latex glove and KY/cold water.
As a female let me preface by saying not all of our orgasms are earth shattering mind blowing ones either. Much like you, for reasons in my past, I am able to ‘cum’ without full blown orgasm. checking out is a trick I am too familiar with and having an orgasm like you describe is the pot of gold for me and my partner, because it is such a rarity. All conditions have to be just so, such as me relaxed, no chance of interruptions, multiple sensitive spots triggered. Like you I am a tough nut to crack in the world of orgasms. Pun not intended. I found you on Rebel’s notes.. Nice to meet you!
Welcome and thank you for sharing your thoughts on my post. B1
I recognise this phenomenon well . My best and most powerful orgasms come at the end of a serious caning session, securely tied down over a bench or bar stool allowing just enough accessibility for teasing breaks after an indeterminate number of strokes of increasing intensity, gradually edging nearer and nearer towards a climax, but not knowing at exactly at what point it will be permitted. It certainly leaves you groggy for a few minutes afterwards.
A large mirror and a skilled mistress in total control, stalking around flexing and swishing the cane before each batch of strokes resumes, gradually stripping down to only a pair of high heels, works best. Preferred outfit– black pencil skirt (to look up in mirror during pleasure break), plain white knickers and tight blouse. No safe word allowed –the erection tells its own tale.
The possibility of a few additional penalty strokes after the climax on some spurious ground such as too much squirming or not keeping quiet, can also add an element of exciting uncertainty to the occasion.
It it can be arranged, a switch session in which the roles are reversed, tossing a coin to see who starts, adds another dimension. I prefer to go last. Administering the pain and pleasure to her first, knowing the same is to come, provides a huge turn-on.
I can’t think why there is not more porn available featuring this kind of pain and pleasure.
It’s lovely to read about the male orgasm from the perspective of a man. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Rebel xox
The sort of orgasm you describe sounds a little like the “full body orgasm” that I thought was a myth until I experienced one! In my case it didn’t involve pain/pleasure but a tantric massage. Essentially this involved a prolonged body massage creating making me deeply relaxed and which then a very extended working of my genitals with some clear but gentle instructions about breathing and letting her know when I was getting close to orgasm. Essentially it was edging but what I had expected was that when I finally came I would start to shiver and shake for many minutes during which the masseuse gently massaged by head while I came down and returned to normal. London has many “tantric” providers but I think only a few have the knowledge and expertise to deliver this sort of orgasm.
In short, no I don’t think that You are unusual!
My experiences are very similar to yours, though not perhaps quite as long lasting for the big, spectacular orgasms.
I think that one of the crucial differences is that when you masturbate yourself you’re in control and, male programming being what it is, climax is often reached quite quickly.
When someone else is in control then the experience is often prolonged and orgasm sometimes hard won.
I had a recent experience with my Mistress which involved me being put in awkward bondage, with my nipples clamped by heavy duty clamps connected by a chain. She then proceeded to subject me to prolonged teasing and edging with simultaneous nipple torture, which was a delicious mix of pleasure and pain.
I took it well so Mistress decided to reward me with a leather-glove wank, which she knows I love. Having been kept on the edge for so long I think my glans had become desensitised so boy did she have to work hard!
Compared to a “normal” orgasm this one was incredibly prolonged, in that I knew it was coming a long way out but it took ages to get there and when I eventually exploded my whole body shook and shuddered immensely.
I think the psychology is important too; my Mistress always says “I want you to come for me now” and that feeling of not wanting to come for yourself but for your Mistress is very powerful for me. My desire to please Her is so strong that when she commands me to come the incentive to do so increases immeasurably.
The fact that she instructs me to abstain from masturbating for at least a week before seeing Her is probably also a factor!
So, in conclusion, I think you are right – not all orgasms are created equal.
I can’t say how a male orgasm feels, but I can say what you describe sounds a lot like some orgasms I have. The crash through and the long come-down with aftershocks. Not all of them, but the ones where time has been taken, attention paid, boundaries pushed, etc. I wonder if there’s something gendered in the way we are “expected” to experience orgasms. Men’s are “supposed” to be a quick explosion, then completely spent. Women’s are “supposed” to be long and Earth shaking and left feeling like jelly. But they are all very good, aren’t they? The small quick ones and the long immobilizing ones. 🙂