This is Mistress Elita’s account of how it was to carry out a session with me, her client, in public. I love what she says, especially at the end.
I know from what they told me and the the writing some have shared that we had created an experience for the audience.
We created an experience for ourselves too.
When Bibulous asked me what I would think about giving him a beating in front of an audience, I was instantly enthused. It felt more than simply an opportunity to indulge some exhibitionist streak that I assume is lurking somewhere within me; above that, I could feel my sadistic side twitching excitedly, eager to come out and play. Of course, when I agreed to do it, a large part of me wondered whether it would actually happen; though B has been so open with his explorations in this beautiful little world online, there’s a massive difference between writing an anonymous sex blog and having people…actual living, breathing people…standing only feet away as the whip comes down and all of one’s vulnerability is exposed.
As the date drew closer, I started to feel somewhat nervous myself. Bibulous had never done this before, but neither had I! I suddenly became aware that I wouldn’t know exactly who was watching, or what their thoughts might be about my interactions with B. Would it be a hot scene for people to regale one another with at next year’s Eroticon, or would I be committing a fairly serious assault in front of a room full of horrified witnesses? Having been to Eroticon once before and remembering the wonderful sense of acceptance that generally accompanies most conversations there, I had a feeling I knew which way things would go.
When Bibulous greeted me upon my arrival, we were the only two people in the room. He was nervous, I could tell. He was speaking too fast and alternating between being a little too talkative and a little too quiet, like he was talking himself out of what we were about to do. I liked it.
I’m not sure that I had any kind of game plan for the scene itself, except that I knew that I would finish with the cane, and that I knew that we would get to that end, whatever it took. Talking casually with people as they arrived, I could see B getting more and more nervous and I took that as my cue to slip quietly out of the room and take my clothes off. Or, rather, put my mask on. Stepping back into the room that seemed to hold far more people than I’d expected it to, everything went quiet. And then, at the moment my skin made contact with his, my expectation that this would be a ‘performance’ disappeared, along with everyone else except for Bibulous, my masochist, my target, my plaything.
I don’t really remember, too much of the scene itself – as is often (sadly) the way. I remember holding him. I remember feeling him breathing hard against me. I remember turning him around to face those he had invited, making myself small behind him at that moment so that it was only him that they could see. I remember hearing the odd gasp from somewhere in the room, the occasional hushed comment. But apart from those shimmers reminding me of what was taking place, I was wholly somewhere else, and Bibulous was there with me.
He took quite a beating, as I’m sure those watching would agree! But this felt like it was about much more than me whipping him in front of an audience. This felt more like standing by his side whilst he stepped over a line, into a world where he no longer has to be ashamed of who he is, and what he likes. And I’m so excited for him to stay on this side of the line, with his friends standing with him.
You can find other perspectives of this amazing experience, one that is still revealing its true depths to me in the posts linked below.
My own account is here.
The Other Livvy wrote a wonderful piece about how it felt to see the fantasy of the dominatrix brought to life. You can find it here.
19Syllables described how she felt complicit in the violence and yet drawn to it. You can find her writing here.
Look out for a post from my friend, Eye that will be up next week.
Wow B1 Talk about having balls of steel!
I wholly admire your bravery
Not just you and a dom but an audience too!
🙂
…of course not forgetting Elitas role..oops!
Interesting insights and nice to hear the experience
I don’t think I have thanked you enough for inviting us to be witness of this special session, to see how a professional Dominatrix works, and to see the dynamic between you and her. It was absolutely wonderful! Special.
Rebel xox
Yes, the end of this is beautiful … and the whole thing such an interesting read. As I read through each of the versions of that night, I find a common thread to be the nervous energy and anticipation in the air at the start. Mistress Elita strikes me as quite brave here, and I’m glad the experience was met with such acceptance.
This is absolutely beautiful.
I’ve really enjoyed reading the various perspective’s of your experience that evening.
I have nothing but admiration for you, putting yourself on the line like that, uncompromisingly vunerable.
I know I couldn’t do it. I have a hard enough time confronting myself whilst taking pain, to do that infront of others would be terrifying.
Perhaps that’s the whole point though….to confront yourself in those moments?
Cuntella