Over the last 6 months I have been travelling deeper into what is known in BDSM as “Impact Play.”
IMPACT: Someone hitting you. PLAY: For fun.
I mean, it has to be fun or it wouldn’t be called PLAY, right?
Yet when I say DEEPER into impact play, what I mean is being hit harder, with more severe implements, for longer and on parts of my body where it will hurt more. I have been hit on the soles of my feet with a strap, on my nipples with a riding crop, on my back with a heavy, leather flogger. I have been slapped in the face and I have been hit with a bullwhip. And I have been caned; boy have I been caned! I have been caned cold at the start of a session; I have been given 24 full on strokes by a man and I have been given a relentless thrashing that seemed to have no end after a session in which I had already been caned twice. How could all this possibly be construed as ‘play?’
To try to explain (to myself as much as to anyone else) why I keep coming back for more; why this is indeed ‘play’ for me, I am going to break an impact session, specifically a hard caning, into its constituent parts and describe my experience of each part. This is a very personal account and I am sure other’s experience will be different.
ONE: ANTICIPATION. If the caning is cold, i.e. without any warmup, this materialises as outright fear, not just of the pain but of my ability to control my reactions to it. Part of the fear is “will I cope?” or “will I make a fool of myself?”. Fear sounds like something unpleasant but the body has ancient ways of dealing with it that set up chemical and physical changes, generating excitement and a heightened sense of awareness. If the caning is late in the session, then rather than this outright fear, there is a change of atmosphere: the support act has ended, now it’s time for the main event. I breathe deeply, trying to centre myself, collect my resources and be ready.
TWO: SHOCK. It doesn’t matter whether the last time was 3 days or 3 months previously, my first experience of a caning is always of shock. I am NEVER ready for it. Each time the raw brutality of the impact takes my breath away. At each stroke I promise myself I will stop after the next one. My thoughts are all: “Why do I do this when I hate it so much”.
THREE. FIGHT. Now we’re into the meat of it. The pain is building from one stroke to the next so the absolute imperative is to win the fight to stay on top and control my reactions. My breathing, generally out of control at the start, has to be regulated to survive this and reach the rewards that come later. How I want to breathe is a sharp, forced intake with the impact then let it out slowly. However, the pain of each stroke can be so intense that I involuntarily breath rapidly, almost panting, immediately after it lands. This is OK if I have my breathing back under control before the next stroke. If I don’t then, frankly, I am in trouble.
FOUR. RELAX. Really? Relax? Surely not? Not always but this is what it’s all about. The pain remains no less intense but endorphins help me deal with it. My mind is clear of everything, free to focus on the cane and its effects. Each blow is expected, almost welcome. The intense pain it causes is no longer a threat to be afraid of but an experience to be relished. I sink into the leather of the bench. My breathing is under control and after the slow out breath that follows each stroke, I might lift my backside slightly to show I am ready for the next. The extreme sensations make me almost euphoric and I start to become deeply aware of the mistress and the electric connection between us. Most canings will end after this, but for the bold there is a further level to be explored.
FIVE. THE WAVE. At the end of my first serious caning from Mistress Elita (me having survived the formal count of 18 strokes) she decided that A) I could take some more and/or B) she wanted to give me some more. She started light and fast and moved on to heavy and fast, hitting me repeatedly with real force, generating an immense wave of pain to be ridden or engulfed by. It is hard to describe just how intense this ‘caning after the caning’ can be but it leaves me gasping, sweating, pulling against the restraints and feeling as though I have truly been tested. It’s visceral, animalistic somehow, to endure this much pain voluntarily and yet it’s also cathartic* and renewing.
SIX. SILENCE. Nikki Flynn, a CP model and actress, made a series of extreme caning movies with Czech company Lucas Films, an experience she describes in her excellent book “Dances with Werewolves”. One of the things she says is that she doesn’t like “being caned” but she likes “having been caned”. I understand what she means. As the immediate impact of the last stroke fades away there is a silence and an inner calm like nothing else I have experienced. I drift, letting the pain wash over me, completely relaxed. I want the mistress near, perhaps touching me gently so I know she is there. I want to know she is pleased with me. I want her to bring me down slowly, undo the restraints and chat to me calmly while I recover.
As I said at the start, these are very personal experiences and those of others might be completely different. For me, though, a caning that includes each of these elements is not so much ‘play’ as therapy, a mind clearing exercise that sends me back out into the world feeling confident, motivated and relaxed for days afterwards.
If the idea of pain as pleasure is totally alien to you, I hope this article might help you understand why people ‘like me’ do what we do!
MORE ON THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING CANED
This post is a description of a prolonged caning where I truly went through all these stages
This post describes my reactions the first time I saw my blood on a Mistress’s cane
This post about the challenge and reward of the cane is the first I ever had published – as a guest post on another blog.
*catharsis: dictionary definitions vary but I like this one: the purging of the emotions or relieving of emotional tensions, especially through certain kinds of art, as tragedy or music
Yes, this true maso sissy m seeks a dom M sado ~ Thank you, SIR!
I understand what everybody is talking about. What compels me to endure the extreme pain of the cane? I always get excited leading up to the day of the caning but once I am there, I get very tense and once my pants are down and I am strapped down to the caning bench with my bare bottom in the air, I always feel that I would rather be anywhere else but there!. I know that am not going to enjoy what will follow and even during the caning I am thinking to myself “never again, this really hurts” but my memory of the caning soon fades with time and inevitably I have the yearning to repeat the exercise.
I have had both cold and warm caning and usually about 200 strokes. Cold caning is by far the worst. The first 100 are bad enough but the last 100 are extremely painful. Between 100 and 150 my bottom starts to cut and bleed. From that point onwards the caning becomes far more painful. The dom tries to avoid the raw areas by hitting lower or higher but that doesn’t help since there is less flesh there. I hate being caned on the top of my legs. The last 50 strokes are really bad and I am squirming against the restraints and moaning rather loudly.
Afterwards there is the relief that it is over but there is also an anti climax. All I have to show for it is a very sore bottom which passes off after a few days.
After 1 particularly hard caning, I was walking like an old man for 2 days as each step really jarred by bottom, I couldn’t sit properly for over 4 days and I couldn’t even get comfortable in bed. It took several weeks for the marks to go.
But despite that, I know I will come back for more.
I do not have such a complete love-hate ambivalence about my canings. I am lucky to have a lady friend with whom i have a long term relationship. She says no restraints… I need to have enough will power to stay in place. She drags the admission out of me, i can hear her voice echoing as i write this…. “Admit it. Out loud. Say you beg me to administer the caning …. Say it. Force yourself to relax those ass muscles I order you.”
“Kiss the delrin rod, i like its marks.” “Your ass is my canvas to decorate as I see fit.”
I still cannot fathom why being caned is so erotic for me and as much as I try to subdue and defer my interest it still makes its desire felt in daydreams or carnal thought process.
It hurts but makes me feel alive
I fear it and I crave it
It’s so confusing!
I know exactly what you mean, Mater canes me and I wriggle and yell and it hurts a lot and I dread each stroke and try to divert his attention but afterwards i feel better for it and want it again. The I think about it at home and really need to be beaten. We correspond and i get a frisson of excitement when he tells me how hard he will punish when we are able to meet again.
Re. Sara’s comments
Indeed Sara I still can’t quite get a handle on why submitting to the cane can provide an equal measure of pain and pleasure..
I think I’m a rational straight thinking person so why the rush from having my behind beaten?…why?…I don’t know 😷
Stay safe guys play nice!
I know exactly what you mean, Master canes me and I wriggle and yell and it hurts a lot and I dread each stroke and try to divert his attention but afterwards i feel better for it and want it again. The I think about it at home and really need to be beaten. We correspond and i get a frisson of excitement when he tells me how hard he will punish when we are able to meet again.
I hate being caned but I love having been caned,its very important to regulate your breathing and must totally relax and submit and allow your brain to deal with the extreme pain and discomfort.
It has come as a revelation to discover all the thoughtful views on the highs and lows of needing a regular thrashing, My experience as a submissive is that it is a lonely place where those caned rarely have exchange with fellow compliants . I loved reading the comments of both Beverley and Sara for their brevity and, in the case of the former, her wit. The thoughtful longer arguments of the males were helpful and all full of insight. Sharing is so beneficial and I recognised my own reactions to the cane in so many 0f the contributions.
Until late teenage years my regular beatings were intended as ways of ensuring that my behaviour remained pleasing. It was not until some years later that I understood the foundations for welcoming the cane had also been well and truly laid.
Although there are clearly many who offer their services professionally the greatest difficulty I have found is that of meeting those who enjoy giving the cane but non-professionally. I have served Men who have caned me regularly over a period of time, during which they developed both their and my confidence in great severity. As in many relationships there came a point where we went separate ways. I am about to report to a man who has been contacting me for several weeks and who has an interest in administering hard and varied beatings. It still remains truly difficult to meet any women with similar enthusiasms. Meanwhile I will report on any insights to emerge.
Sara U have obviously been a naughty girl and deserve a very sore bum but I know and have experienced the same feeling may e we could do a joint session to see who can endure the most Stuart
I recognise some of the feelings and experiences in these posts, but there seem to me to be two elements missing.
The first is being tightly secured to a horse, bench or stool so that there is no possibility of escape or not seeing out the full quota of strokes decided on by the mistress, whether professional or amateur. There is nothing In my experience to match the sheer excitement of this moment of dread, submission, uncertainty and anticipation, knowing that you have surrendered yourself entirely to your mistress and must take whatever is coming, squirming and writhing In your bonds, unable to resist crying out. An added refinement is being warned that there will be penalty strokes if a count is not made promptly and accurately after each stroke or if there is too much noise necessitating a gag.
The second is the absence of any mention of an orgasm. I never cease to marvel at the number of people who seem content with the pain alone without the ultimate climax. I have experienced subspace, but to me nothing quite matches the intense and prolonged orgasm which is achieved after a testing caning, strapping or birching following skilful edging and teasing breaks between batches of strokes. Each pleasure break produces amazing sensations to be treasured in themselves. As a dedicated switch I would not dream of Inflicting the pain without the same edging treatment and ultimate happy ending. It is also possible to go into subspace and have an orgasm along the way. Two for the price of one!
I have a master who canes me very hard and I sometimes cannot bear it and give up. That saddens me as i want the punishment and really crave for it to be completed at full force, no let offs. I just find myself squirming, especially when he strikes on the crease or at the tops of my legs.
I find there is great satisfaction on accepting a thrashing and going through with it all the way.
Sara U have obviously been a naughty girl and deserve a very sore bum but I know and have experienced the same feeling may e we could do a joint session to see who can endure the most Stuart
There is a thought – I have done that sort of thing before and it does help to have a fellow sufferer.!
Definitely would be interesting to receive a thrashing along side you with us both bending over and receiving very sore and scorched backsides would love for this to happen
Interesting to hear about being restrained for a caning…. I have sometimes thought about that but my girlfriend says: “No, you will use your self control to stay in position, you cannot take the easy way out and be forced to stay in position with a gag, you must be quiet because I want you accepting of it.” It is not easy. Sometimes i kick my legs from the sting. Her solution…. She stands close to me and reviews with me, my need for discipline, my desire to submit to her specifically and my subjugating myself to her judgement. It is a bit scary but I do trust her judgement.
On the other hand i have sometimes begged her not to stop caning me…. and she has told me that I am at that point too deeply in sub space to judge and I should listen to her opinion. Needless to say I do.
I received my first caning from the father of my first girlfriend when I was 17. He had the cane in his dressing room and I’ve been wondering for a while what a caning will be like. So I finally received a caning that I haven’t forgotten to this day.
During the cane strokes I wished that it was over and I yelled and sobbed. I remembered the caning very well for the next three days. But looking back, I really enjoyed it an I hope that somebody will cane me again one day. I’m 23 now and have not been caned again since the first time.
Hello Simon, I really appreciate that you wanted to have the experience of being spanked with a cane. In my opinion, every young man should know what a properly delivered cane feels like on the behind. This has been a long tradition in schools in and around UK. I hope the father of your girlfriend did a good job and left you with marks for a few days.
Hey Jason,
oh yes. I can confirm this. My girlfriends father left me with marks for a few days. It was pretty hard to sit down for the next two or three days. The marks were visible for about five to six days until they faded totally. It was pretty impressive how effective a caning actually is.
While I agree with much of what you have said in my case I prefer to visit Mistresses who are intent on breaking my spirit and truly humbling my male pride. This is in direct contrast to your comment “will I cope” or “will I make a fool of myself” in regard to the subject of anticipation. It is also in contrast to your comments regarding fighting in order to control your reactions. For me I am always slightly disappointed when I see a man being severely caned by a woman and he takes his thrashing in total silence. Personally I do like to see a man taking his punishment too well because in reality this can be construed as a victory on his part. I have even heard females complimenting male subs on their ability to take a severe thrashing and for me this always detracts from the drama of the scene. Whenever I present myself for discipline I expect my Mistress to do her very best to reduce me to tears with the severity of her strokes. Howling and struggling is a crucial element because it demonstrated to anyone watching that the male is truly learning his lesson. Crying is the ultimate manifestation of emotional defeat and as such it also represents complete and total victory on behalf on the dominant female. Any man who is reduced to crying in front of a female cannot possibly feel that he is superior or equal in any way. His male pride will be truly devastated and instead of feeling pride in surviving the ordeal his emotions will be those of utter shame and humiliation at his inability to take it in a manly fashion. Cruelty and a lack of concern for the victims ordeal is a rare quality in a female dominant but for me it is a crucial element and the essence of genuine female superiority.
My thoughts are very much like Beverly’s except I only want it to stop for a fraction of a second after each stroke. I love to beg, count and thank my Mistress for each stroke. When she is finished she will take a few photos so I can see her handiwork.
I have been caned many times over the years and estimate i.must have had close to 30 000 whacks of the cane across my backside Mostly after being beaten with other implenents before hand I dread the thought of being told drop my pabts and bend over but love ot at same time the build up the scenario and the pain both during my whackings and after Certainly gives me a great buzz getting my backside severely striped
In Just over two weeks time I am due my first Caning from a Lady Disciplinarian, I am to recieve 12 of the best on the bare after a warm up Spanking. I do also have a certain feeling of dread at the thought of the Pain I will have to endure. But like you have said at the same time I am starting to enjoy the anticipation and build up to my Punishment day. I am also looking forward to the ritual of being told to drop my pants and bend over to recieve a good whacking on my bare backside. I hope my first Caning goes well.
Looking forward to/dreading my first caning.
Idreaded mine too but was warmed up with a hairbrush and he expertly left just enough time between each of the 10 strokes for the pain to subside and the pleasure to kick in. I ha do not had 4 sessions but I now look forward to each one.
Cherie I hope u have now received a good caning and are not put off by it Are u going to be bending over again for a second helping ?
Stuart,
I liked it very much. The flog is still my favorite, but I really responded to the thud of it on my back. I am looking forward to the next time.
Cherie I am reporting to a new headmistress on next fortnight i cant wait to be bending over again for a sound whacking on my bare bum She will put me over her knee to give me a good bare bottom spanking first of all before whacking me with other implements before flogging my backside with the cane Only glad i live in South East London as wont be able to sit fown on train home Please let us know what happens u get your bum whacked
I too am to receive my first Caning from a Lady Disciplinarian in just over two weeks time. I have requested to be corrected for my lazy attitude and bad time keeping issues. It has been decided that I will be allowed a warm up Spanking before receiving 12 hard strokes of the Cane on the bare. I know that as the date gets closer my anticipation, excitement and fear will rise. This will be my first time, but I am dedermined to go through with it. I hope I can please Miss on the day and take my whacking well.
i hope you are now satisfied with a good caning over your bum. would love to help of course.
looking forward to giving you that pleasure and counting strokes in between your moans
I have always dreamed of being famed or whipped but not been able to find someone to do it
My master let me set the pace of each strike so that initially I waited for the sting to subside before I asked for the next, before I reloaded, maybe after 5 or 6 he said I just asked for them continually as I entered the endorphin sub-space head rush that this brings to me.
Yours is the best explanation of this state of being that I have found. I have read the account of your session with Mistress Elita that is posted on her blog, many times. I want to feel it too but I have limited experience so far and I doubt that I could take it yet. Thank you for your erudition.
I have been caned many times.
Before caning i want it.
During caning i want it to stop .
When over i want it to start again.
When caned want it to be lighter.
When over wished it had been harder.
Beverley
Beverley’s comments mirror my experience of caning exactly.After a caning session I am always thinking about my next session,usually about four weeks later.
I got my master to tie me down so that he could explore my very well discussed limits. And I totally agree with your short version of the emotions. My master insisted for the first 6 strokes that he would ask me to tell him when I wanted the next one up to the maximum of 12. After the 6 he totally took over I tried to hard to free myself t=when the sting had not subsided after the 6th or the 7th but at the 8th I was in sub-space and asked for more. He slightly changed location on my bottom and dragged me out of sub-space but delivered 3 more in quick succession and I was just a drooling mess for him to play with but when he released me I struggled to stand and he kindly led me outside and put me in the head stocks to contemplate my performance before he pissed on the beautiful red welts adding another dimension to the pain.
Beverley I have a detention with a well known disciplinarian who has appeared as a headmistress in films this morning I know i will be leaving her study with a very sore and striped backside The adrenalin is building up now as never seen her in person before I am dreading her telling me to bend over but at same time looking forward to it as a battle of wills Is true i know the first whack of the Cane will hurt and let me know what to expect in forthcoming thrashing
A proper caning harder is always the way and the welts would last longer so would the feel of them . it is better to be caned regularly as the impact of each session is easier to take. always ready to exchange views and experiences.
Exactly how I feel Beverly
I have wondered about this too, but I think you explain it very well! I have the exact same experience of anticipation (1) and shock (2), but I think I have always lost the fight (3), and thus have never reached the ultimate stages, which I long to experience!!