Author Archives: Bibulous

I WANT TO……

Lying prostrate on the dungeon floor, you look so vulnerable. The chains round your wrists and ankles, tied to cold steel uprights on either side of the space, both stretch you out and immobilise you. Your head is in a breathable black bag denying you any sense of where you are. Any sense of where… Read More »

THE ABOUT ME PAGE – a new perspective

Eight years ago, when I started this blog, the first thing I wrote was an introductory page called “ABOUT ME – a kinky journey”,  introducing myself and saying something about how I came to be launching a blog about kinky sex in my late fifties. It described a series of events: “I started hurting myself;”… Read More »

NEW STRAP – sinful sunday

A quick Sinful Sunday to reflect my recent progress in understanding and being happy with my kinky self. The post I published this morning is a celebration of where I am today at the end of a long but highly constructive therapy process.

FLYING SOLO – therapy, life, kink

“I think our work here might be done,” she said at the end of this week’s therapy session. I felt as if I had stood upright by myself for the first time after knee surgery, only to have her immediately confiscate my crutches. But she was right. She usually is. I had finally turned the… Read More »

“BURN AND RAVE AT CLOSE OF DAY”

According to Wikipedia, and therefore presumably true (!), human sexuality is defined as the way people express themselves sexually, as opposed to sexual orientation which is more about how we interact with others. I’ve been thinking quite a bit about how I express myself sexually and where that comes from (Sorry for all the introspective… Read More »

ACCEPTANCE (sinful sunday)

The kink I’ve always had most difficulty writing or talking about is that of hurting myself. Yet this is where it all started: a lonely little boy in a car; the teenager who nervously bought himself a riding crop and had to lie when his parents found it; the married adult who would disappear to… Read More »

PUNISHMENTS I DIDN’T RECEIVE – therapy

Content warning: Historical corporal punishment of children. Abuse actually. Please leave well alone if this might be disturbing for you. This is a follow up to my earlier post where I wrote about memories of my arrival at boarding school at the age of ten. Here I explore my memories of the corporal punishments that… Read More »

PUTTING UP BARRIERS – Therapy

Content warning: corporal punishment of children. I was taken to the junior part of the boys boarding school I eventually attended for an interview with the headmaster, part of the admission process. I’d have been nine, possibly ten, and this particular school had been a recommendation from Mum’s stepfather, a master at a local grammar… Read More »

A GOOD END – Update

Content warning: Old age, Alzheimer’s disease, assisted dying. This post touches on delicate subjects that some may prefer not to read about. Please feel free to walk away if it might upset you.