The core of our kinky dynamic is her Little One to my, …well… bigger one. Neither of us is comfortable with the language around the Daddy Dom and there is no age play in our relationship. Despite this, she often feels the need to be Little, curling her body into mine in a search for comfort and reassurance, things I am only too happy to provide.
And yet, alongside this Little One persona, once we are in the bedroom, she’s a switch. She’s not a ”I can hit him if he wants me too” switch, or even a “likes to play a bit that way” switch. Embedded in the core of her is a dominant, someone who wants to take charge, move me around the room and dish it out.
Even deeper in the core of her, and to be handled with extreme caution, is a vicious bitch.
But here’s the thing: I love that part of her too.
She’s spent a lot of time domming or topping this last week. Sometimes, she’s delivered a specific experience to my detailed instructions; still MY submissive, but hurting me because that’s what I choose for her to do. At others I’ve properly submitted to her, and she’s beaten me, worked my nipples over and pegged me with skill an conviction.
She’s very good at it and, because it comes from within rather than being a role-play, she’s completely convincing.
On my last night there, I wanted it from her. I was quite specific about what I wanted her to do, as I felt I needed a particular experience, a particular memory to take home with me. She beat me with the thick, black, leather whip I keep in my toy bag, the first time I’ve really explored the full experience with this fearsome implement.
She started nervously, unsure of the whip or my reactions to it. But she quickly warmed to the task, going beyond my instructions, reading me and adjusting what she was doing based on my reactions.
Just like a full-on Dominatrix would.
She gave me the full experience. Took me all the way.
And, at the end, she bloody well wrung a safe word out of me, the vicious bitch.
It was fucking awesome.
Later, at first with care and then with some real aggression, she pegged me deep into sub-space.
That was fucking awesome too.
When things had quieted down and we were calm, she asked me to spank her. I think she wanted it as a way to put her demons away; for her to be my Little One once more and not the vicious bitch who had beaten me so hard and for so long.
I think she’s a little scared of the vicious bitch that lives inside her, and worries that she is perfectly capable of causing real damage.
In truth, I’m a little scared of her too.
But being scared is a kink for me.
A big fucking kink.
Here she is in action: