PARTY – THE TOP

I finally went to a kinky play party, though nobody there seemed able to believe it was my first experience of such a thing. It was the much delayed birthday of my friend and occasional playmate, Honey. I had gradually journeyed from “Oh, I don’t think I could do that”, via a short detour through “I ought to go to support Honey” before finally arriving at “Play party in a dungeon? Hell, Yes!”

I have a tendency to waste a lot of time on this kind of journey, when the destination is glaringly obvious right at the start.

I knew that both Honey and Rosie, who had recently been co-conspirators in a ridiculously hot dungeon session,  would be happy to play with me, and I figured that if that turned out to be limit of my fun, that was already going to be an awful lot of fun! I could spend the rest of the afternoon keeping people’s drinks topped up or lie over a bench with a cane and see who was bold enough to use it on me.

But then in the build-up to the event I was approached by someone I had met briefly at the Eroticon conference and she asked if I would like to play with her at the event.

“Well, Yes. I rather think I would!” (I’m doing better already, breezing through “Are you sure? We don’t really know each other” without even pausing for thought)

Her play experience was mostly with her husband or friends, and she wanted to dip a tentative toe into scarier waters. Apparently, in this context, I am “scarier waters.”  I have no idea why. Ahem.

I had her nervous before she got there, frightened as I tied her up and downright terrified when I was swishing my thick, leather whip half an inch behind her backside. Scarier waters indeed!

She had told me (Me of all people! Cackles in an evil voice) that she had never been hit on the back and hardly ever been hit on the breasts. This was a session plan that needed no spreadsheet!

It all went rather well and earned me a huge “Thank You” hug afterwards.

Emboldened by this person’s pre-event approach, I had made contact with another attendee, a relative kink novice whom I follow on twitter. She had been understandably more cautious, and we agreed to chat in the early stages of the party. In the end, she too decided that she wanted to sample my particular brand of sensual domination. That went rather well too and she seemed to find a beautifully calm place inside her that allowed the session to progress way past my original expectations.

The feedback from these two beautiful ladies, the responses of Honey and Rosie after I had smacked them around a bit, and, perhaps most of all, the subsequent approaches from two other attendees has made me rather thinky. The latter two both said they had been too scared by pictures of Honey’s arse after a session with me to suggest playing together at the party. However, having now seen how I had treated these new partners, they would be up for the Bibulous treatment if the opportunity were to arise in the future.

Isn’t that wonderful?

Coming on the back of my amazing time with L in Las Vegas and New England, this has all made me start to realise what a beautiful legacy I have been granted from all those sessions as a bottom to Pro Dominants and as a Top to Pro Submissives.

When I was playing poker in Vegas (taking full advantage of my anonymity), I had talked to a regular opponent, a really nice guy, about relationships and sex. I told him about my kinks, mentioned the lady who was crossing the US to spend a kinky weekend with me and the sex parties I was going to on my return. He looked me up and down and, clearly unimpressed by what he saw, asked:

“Dude, no offence but what do all these ladies see in you?”
I thought a bit and replied, “The truth is, I know things!” and left it there, all mysterious.

I’ve since decided that “I know things” sounds a bit creepy, but it touches on a truth. Here are some things I know from Mistress Elita, Miss Hunter, Lilly and Katie (and others, not all sex workers, who have shared their kinks with me). these are, I believe, things that not everyone knows:

How, through conversations or text messages, to  gain an understanding of what someone’s kinks are; what really turns them on. I also ask questions like “What brings you to orgasm?” Not enough men ask that, I suspect.

Mechanical stuff like three different ways to use a belt, how to be safe with a cane (and when to use which one), how to land a flogger so it doesn’t sting (or indeed does, if that’s what the situation calls for).

How to structure a session, whether it’s half an hour at a party or overnight in a dungeon: creating ebb and flow; periods of challenge and periods of stillness; creating a fitting ending to the session so nobody is left wondering “Are we done?”

How to hit people on areas other than the arse and to do so in ways that make it erotic

How to create an experience on a subconscious, physiological, level; choosing whether the way the submissive feels is driven by the adrenaline of fear, the dopamine of pleasure, or the endorphines that follow pain.

How to use a Doxy wand vibrator. (Don’t underestimate this – really I think may have found the way to every woman’s heart)

How wonderful that, at the age of 64, an age when many people might feel their sexuality to be fading, mine is invigorated anew. I feel alive and rejoice in the fact that the demographic of people that might want to spend time with me is not at all restricted to 64 year-old, retired, divorcées.

I feel blessed by this, and deeply thankful to the sex workers and other partners who helped get me to this point in my life, and to the new partners who choose to dip their toes into those “scarier waters.”

Don’t be put off by that term though.

I’m a pussycat really!

 

My next post might very well be titled PARTY – THE BOTTOM as I manged to let my submissive out at the same event and may have discovered an entirely new kink!