A PLAY PUNISHMENT, OR WAS IT? (kotw)
Listen to me carefully. Go to the bathroom and take a shower. Return in a robe and black knickers and kneel in front of me here. Do you understand? Good Girl.
Category Archives: Relationships
A WOMAN IN A BAR
I was sat having gin and a glass of red with a couple of small plates of expensive but delicious food at the bar of a restaurant in the Bellagio Hotel. I’m staying there on my post-retirement poker break in Vegas.
NOT MUCH OF A LEGACY
Content warning: loss, grief Walking into his garage in Spain for the first time was hard. We all felt it. This was what my brother had to show for his 58 years. This was to be, it appeared, the limits of his legacy: an ancient, undrivable car, a pile of dusty cardboard boxes and some… Read More »
NOT JUST A WINE
Content warning: grief, loss I think it’s going to be difficult tonight. Contemplating the evening ahead, I’m wondering if I’ve processed my younger brother’s untimely and violent death, to quite the extent I tell myself I have. My other brother (the middle one originally, I’ll call him D here) and I are going to have… Read More »
GLIMPSES IN THE RUBBLE
2021 has been a year of losing people. People my age lose their parents, those that are lucky enough to have kept them this far; that is the natural order of things. Knowing that doesn’t necessarily make it easier to lose both parents in a twelve-month period, but it is a relatable experience, something that… Read More »
TURNING TO JESSICA AGAIN (CW: loss, grief)
Do you have a place you go to when you feel the need to cry but your brain won’t let you; a memory, image or piece of video that does for the emotions what a finger down the throat does for the body?
THE DOMINATRIX AND THE THERAPIST
I wonder how my therapist will feel when she reads this. I suspect not all women would be happy to have parallels drawn between themselves and a sex worker. I touched on the subject in our last session and, understanding the respect and affection within which I hold Mistress Elita, she had been OK with… Read More »
PASSING
Content warnings: Hospitals, Sickness, Rugby England v Italy. England looking for a four-try bonus point to have a shot at the Six Nations Championship. Just five minutes in, and England are playing a fast, passing game. Farrell bursts through the Italian line and picks out Ben Youngs on the inside who takes it at speed… Read More »
MARRIAGE – FINDING A GOOD ENDING
The urge to say something to my soon-to-be-ex wife has been there for a while; the urge, after all this time, to finally accept my part in the slow, painful death of our marriage; to sympathise with her for having to put up with the obdurate, unemotional, uncommunicative man with whom she shared a home… Read More »
COMPASSION
When I started seeing a therapist eighteen months ago, it was with the hope that I might be able to address my insomnia, although choosing that path was a recognition that insomnia was, for me at least, the symptom rather than the disease, and that my stress and unhappiness were what I really needed help… Read More »
MY INTERNAL FAMILY – in therapy
Back in 2016 I wrote a post about a session with an experienced American Dominatrix. Ten minutes in, with an insight that startled me at the time, she told me: “You’re just a little boy!” I had been reminded of the session by an article on Transactional Analysis, a longstanding therapy technique that considers our “parent,”… Read More »
DEALING WITH IT
I’ve spent time on my own before, but not like this, not week after week of it, not forced by external circumstances rather than by choice. Much of the time I’m doing fine, but occasionally the pandemic seems like a tidal wave, and the loneliness locks me to the ground so I can only wait… Read More »