SELF MEDICATION – needing it (sinful sunday)

By | 18th February 2017

Something had to happen. Having written about how my masochism had become a “black obsession stalking the soul” I needed to feed it; perhaps not the full meal of a long Domme/Sub session, but I had to give it a snack certainly. For many, many years the only way my kinks could be expressed was through self-inflicted pain. However, I have largely stayed away from this since regularly seeing mistresses, finding the blurring of the boundary between “kink” and “self-abuse” implied by such acts uncomfortable.

I allow myself (because it just feels SO good) to make an exception for nipple play. And so I found myself in the bathroom, a pink plastic peg attached to each nipple, enjoying the sharp sensation they caused.

nipple 1a

It was just what I needed. However, perhaps through my nipples being de-sensitized by constant abuse, the sensation rapidly started to fade. So I added another clip.

nipple 2

This caused my to breathe a little more heavily. The beautiful sense of focus that comes from dealing with pain started to kick in. My cock grew harder in reaction to it. But I still had more pegs. So a third went on.


nipple 3

Breathing fast now, the sharp knife of pain twisting as I deliberately moved the pegs. An orgasm building and then engulfing me; not the long, rolling end-of-session orgasm I sometimes have with Elita but fast, angry, needed release.

I washed my “black obsession” down the plughole of the bathroom sink.


My name is BibulousOne and I’m a masochist.

My last pain was 4 hours ago.


You can read my thoughts on the obsessive side of my sadomasochism here.

More, though hopefully less obsessed, sin here:

Sinful Sunday

9 thoughts on “SELF MEDICATION – needing it (sinful sunday)

  1. MariaSibylla

    Beautiful words. I enjoy reading about all your self-exploration and the journey you are on. The last photo did make me wince though.

  2. Bee

    I don’t see any difference between the kind of release you achieve through pain and release achieved by masturbation. To me, they’re two sides of the same coin.

  3. Rebecca

    I really enjoy getting inside as you explain your needs and release. The intense feeling of both pain and satisfaction and the eventual release worded and via image is great.

  4. @19syllables

    Great post. Your words always show you in much braver ways than in the picture itself.


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