SELF MEDICATION – needing it (sinful sunday)

By | 18th February 2017

Something had to happen. Having written about how my masochism had become a “black obsession stalking the soul” I needed to feed it; perhaps not the full meal of a long Domme/Sub session, but I had to give it a snack certainly. For many, many years the only way my kinks could be expressed was through self-inflicted pain. However, I have largely stayed away from this since regularly seeing mistresses, finding the blurring of the boundary between “kink” and “self-abuse” implied by such acts uncomfortable.

I allow myself (because it just feels SO good) to make an exception for nipple play. And so I found myself in the bathroom, a pink plastic peg attached to each nipple, enjoying the sharp sensation they caused.

nipple 1a

It was just what I needed. However, perhaps through my nipples being de-sensitized by constant abuse, the sensation rapidly started to fade. So I added another clip.

nipple 2

This caused my to breathe a little more heavily. The beautiful sense of focus that comes from dealing with pain started to kick in. My cock grew harder in reaction to it. But I still had more pegs. So a third went on.

 

nipple 3

Breathing fast now, the sharp knife of pain twisting as I deliberately moved the pegs. An orgasm building and then engulfing me; not the long, rolling end-of-session orgasm I sometimes have with Elita but fast, angry, needed release.

I washed my “black obsession” down the plughole of the bathroom sink.

 

My name is BibulousOne and I’m a masochist.

My last pain was 4 hours ago.

 

You can read my thoughts on the obsessive side of my sadomasochism here.

More, though hopefully less obsessed, sin here:

Sinful Sunday

9 thoughts on “SELF MEDICATION – needing it (sinful sunday)

  1. MariaSibylla

    Beautiful words. I enjoy reading about all your self-exploration and the journey you are on. The last photo did make me wince though.

    Reply
  2. Bee

    I don’t see any difference between the kind of release you achieve through pain and release achieved by masturbation. To me, they’re two sides of the same coin.

    Reply
  3. Rebecca

    I really enjoy getting inside as you explain your needs and release. The intense feeling of both pain and satisfaction and the eventual release worded and via image is great.

    Reply
  4. @19syllables

    Great post. Your words always show you in much braver ways than in the picture itself.

    Reply

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