KINK, FAMILY, FOOD, FRIENDS

I may have completely misunderstood my presence on Twitter. I’d always felt that I was defined there by my kinks; that my voice came from the exploration of my kinky nature through sessions with professional sex workers. However, while there are many submissive “men-who-see-Dommes” with twitter accounts, mine is a little unusual.

It is unusual because of the diversity of people who follow me, and whom I follow. The list stretches far beyond fellow clients of sex workers and the sex workers themselves. I think this diversity of connections originates right back with my first ever tweet and the way I was thereafter introduced to twitter.

That first tweet was a response to a Haiku by the lovely @19syllables, who has become a friend, and included a haiku of my own, something about a walk on an autumn morning with my dog. 19s is very connected to people in the sex blogging community and, through her, I started to exchange follows with those folk long before I had my own blog. This community is all about a sex-positive, body-positive, diversity of sexual experience within monogamous or polyamorous relationships and is certainly NOT about men who pay attractive women to cane them. Had my first contact been with one of my fellow attendees at the Slayers Corporal Punishment parties, then my Twitter village might have looked very different.

I confined my tweets and comments to kink related material and enjoyed the outlet it gave to long hidden but important parts of my make-up. I met some of the people I found there in real life, and they were all lovely and seemed genuinely interested in my kinky experiences. To be able to talk openly about these things for the first time was wonderfully renewing and quite emotional.

One day I tweeted a picture of some bread I’d made (I make a lot of bread; no, really, a lot!) and those same people showered my still-warm sourdough in likes, retweets and appreciative comments. It sounds ridiculous now but I remember being surprised! Why would I have thought that kinky, sex positive people would be less likely to appreciate good food than anyone else?

I became more relaxed about what I tweeted, adding observations and feelings about my life, my marriage and my family.

Since my mother became ill, with a combination of physical incapacity and Alzheimer’s, I’ve been driving down to see her and my father each weekend. I’m not good with hospitals and would find myself darkly introspective when I left, emotional over what she had become and frustrated at my inability to do anything about it. I would stop at a motorway service station and send a tweet, finding that the act of reducing the experience of visiting her to Twitter’s limiting format helped me deal with my reactions. I found, as with parts of the blog, that writing about difficult, emotional things stopped them swirling round as abstract, ethereal fears and materialised them. In their new, almost physical, form, I could stand back and study my concerns. I was able to look at my mother’s illness, analyse it and put it a place where it could be visited when I was able, rather than have it cast a constant pall over my day-to-day life.

The responses to these tweets have been truly heart-warming; all concerned sympathy and people’s shared experiences of similar situations. I’ve felt connected, supported and part of a community in a way that I don’t think I have experienced before.

It’s really rather lovely.

I’ve come to realise that the more of myself I let out here and on twitter, the more strongly people will respond to me. I’ve come to realise that their interest is in the person I am, not just in my kinks. That has helped me realise that BibulousOne really is me, not some separate persona who sees sex workers and writes about it. BibulousOne is a bread baking, barbequeing, skiing, family man with all the everyday successes and failures, enthusiasms and concerns that real people have.

Of course there are dangers in this. The more of me that is let out in Bibulous one, the greater the chance that someone will stumble across him and make the connection to the bits of me that can’t be let out here: the job, the name, the family; and it is a sadness that I can’t allow that to happen. Perhaps I never will. But for now this has become important to me.

I love my twitter village and the funny, sexy, diverse, interesting and interested people with whom I share it.

Tweet with link to hot BDSM sex: 2/3 likes
Tweet about my family weekend: 20+ likes, RT’s, feedback etc

My thought triggered by this:
Is it possible these lovely people are actually following ME, not just following my kinks?

That would be..
well, that would be rather nice.
hmm

— Bibulous One (@BibulousOne) May 8, 2018