A while ago I was caned. I was caned by Elita’s man with a cane of startling brutality. I hadn’t been caned for a while and I handled it badly. I felt myself to be in shock afterwards; rattled, knocked sideways.
I wrote a bunch of posts trying to get to grips with why this particular session had been so hard for me and why it had taken so long to get over. I’m not sure I answered those questions, but have at least reached the point where I can just let it lie and move on.
Going into my session last week with Miss Hunter, I was convinced I was going to be caned by her; I have been every time we have met. She is a super experienced practitioner of corporal punishment and we were in a place with a very extensive range of canes; different lengths and weights and made of different materials. I thought I was in for a thrashing and had every reason to expect that.
But as the final part of the session approached, what I was feeling was not the expected, delicious sense of anticipation, tinged with just a little chilli-spice of nervousness. What I was feeling was fear. Real fear. I was going to be caned again and that thought really frightened me. I didn’t want that anguish, wasn’t ready for it, wasn’t ready for that feeling of being totally out of control.
Miss Hunter didn’t cane me though. The session took a different direction; all erotic intensity, a swirling vortex of pain and pleasure in which I lost myself. I knew her well enough to really let go, and allow my body to react freely to the sensations. It was bloody wonderful.
So, now I am contemplating an upcoming session with Elita. I think I might be ready to be caned this time.
I have the sense of having been thrown by a horse and needing to get back on to it; perhaps not to take it for gallop straight away but I think I could manage a fast trot or even a canter.
We’ll see.
I can feel a delicious sense of anticipation, tinged with just a little chilli-spice of nervousness.
i think being caned regularly brings about more tolerance to the cane strokes the anticipation is there so is pain but knowing that there is more to come in a time is a better feeling. i have been subject to this and administrator of this to different partners, which has been a great stimilent.
I know what the fear is like too, it is a mixture of anticipation and dread, dislike even. I know it is going to hurt but then the fantasy kicks in and I know I will be able to take it, it will be OK, except it isn’t, it is brutal and desperately painful and I cannot stop myself crying out and moving in ways which shield the place where the last stroke landed.
I wish I had more composure and could ‘bear it’ but I can’t it is just too much when it is laid on with full force. and there is no let up, no feeling that it is going to stop because that is what I desperately want at that moment.
And when it is over. I feel an overwhelming sensation of relief, gladness and respite. The pain goes away, it is transient after all, the numbing moment after the stroke and then the flash of pain is it registers and the vocal and muscular reaction which follows a particularly hard stroke. Why, why do we do it, why can we not put it behind us. Is there some greater benefit. I wonder and feel it is all so perverse and in some ways silly but can we do without it, probably not once we have been hooked on that exquisite pain, on the sound and fury of the cane. It is too much to give up and yet too much to take.
Each time I read about you being caned, two things happen in my mind… one is that I think about how much I fear the cane… the other is a longing to feel the cane…
Rebel xox