NOT A SEX WORKER

She’s not a sex worker; she’s part of the wide circle of people I am lucky enough to connect with on Twitter. As I have with a few from there, we agreed to meet up in real life; an evening of Tapas, red wine and what became a wide-ranging discussion about life, family, and food.

Oh, and kinky sex. Lots of discussion about kinky sex. We seemed to get on. In fact we got on so well that we agreed to do the same thing a week later. We got on then too. In fact we kissed and it was lovely.

To cut an already short story shorter, next time we meet is going to be in the Peacock Parlour BDSM dungeon. And that knowledge is filling me up with thinks and feels.

And questions.

Will it be different because I’m not a client, she’s not a sex worker and we are just two people with apparently intersecting kinks who met on-line? I mean it happens every day…. doesn’t it?

What will her expectations be, coming from so different an experience base to mine?

Having read about my exploits on my blog, will she be disappointed by the reality.

Is there some code of conduct for folk in the kinky community testing their mutual compatibility, a “How To” manual

“The fact that kink is involved doesn’t make any difference;” advised an online Domme about first time D/s meetings, “it’s just like any first date!” That didn’t help me much. I last went on a date that led to anything beyond a drink and a chat over 20 years ago. I’m not sure I have a frame of reference for this.

Only of course I do.

I’ve experienced hundreds of session as a submissive, learning from Mistress Elita and others about how to balance sensation with emotion, pain with pleasure, challenge with reward. I’ve learned about empathy and respect, about connection and intimacy. I’ve learned about the beauty of trust.

I took Lilly through her first ever BDSM session; took Donna through her first time in a dungeon; played hard games with the experienced Katie. These were real experiences for the people involved, just as they were real experiences for me, and they have all been more than happy to follow up with other sessions, happy to have me go deep down the rabbit hole with them. They all recognised that I cared.

My experience is unconventional in the non sex work BDSM community into which I am dipping a toe, but I don’t think it’s irrelevant.

I think I’ll rely on my instincts. I’ll take it one step at a time and I’ll make it about her, just as I made it about Lilly and Donna and Katie.

Yes. I think I’ve got this.