Did you watch Dexter on Netflix? Dexter was a blood spatter analyst in the Miami Police forensics department who, as we learnt over eight seasons, moonlighted as a vigilante serial killer. When not committing murders of his own, Dexter could roll up a whole case book just by looking at how the blood had been spattered at the crime scene.
How about this case then?
The scene is a hotel bedroom; there’s no victim and the only evidence is a seemingly random spatter of red blood on the otherwise clean and unused sheets. A worried hotel manager has called the police. Was a murder committed in the now empty room?
Dexter examines the sheets closely then offers his analysis of the spattered blood:
“Guy’s, you can relax, no murder happened here. Some kinky dude hired a Dominatrix and she beat him up pretty good with a flogger and a cane.”
“How you know that Dex?”
“Look closely. The blood’s not the only thing on the sheet. Those itty bitty bits of black? That’s leather. She hit the poor guy so hard with a leather flogger it shed those little pieces. And the blood? She made that too. She beat him with a cane hard enough and often enough on the same spot for the skin to break and cause that blood. Then she carried on hitting him on that exact same spot where the blood was collecting, spattering it over the sheet. Only thing it could be. There’s no crime here, but what’s for sure is that there’s some crazy masochist dude walking around with his arse on fire.”
“Jees, Dex! That’s so cool. Seeing as we don’t got no murder to solve, let’s head down the waterfront and get a beer!”
You can read how the blood spatter was actually created here. And, yes, there was a dude walking around with a sore arse. If the police still wanted to find who had caused the blood, this tweet would have pointed them in the right direction.
More Sunday sin here: