BEHIND THE BLINDFOLD – (kink of the week)

The first time a Mistress blindfolded me, I hated it. She was amazingly beautiful and dressed in expensive, skin tight leather which she paraded in front of me for five minutes before putting me in a blindfold for the rest of the session.

I didn’t understand it.

Surely, for someone advertising herself under the title “Goddess,” the point was for her to be worshipped. How could I worship her if I couldn’t see her? I realised after a few more sessions that she was indeed a Goddess, but one who was only really interested in a single worshipper and that wasn’t me. Her dominant kink seemed to be narcissism and, if she displayed her beauty in front of the mirror, it was for her benefit, not mine and so our sessions lacked connection. I stopped seeing her, though with a measure of regret because she was an exceptionally skilled sadist.

Gradually my attitude changed and I started to enjoy the occasional loss of visual stimuli. Elita started to blindfold me from time to time, often just before driving me deep into sensual overload, leaving me writhing against the restraints, lost in a maelstrom of ecstasy, agony or, more often, both. I now find myself closing my eyes sometimes to create the same effect. “Look at me!” she’ll instruct, if she’s not ready for me to leave her.

Of course, me being me, once I’d established that to be blindfolded could be fun, I had to go fully overboard with it, creating scenes with ever more extreme forms of sensory deprivation.

I’ve blindfolded myself, laid naked on a bed and waited for Elita to come in, beat me to the edge of my endurance, and leave, all without saying a word.

I’ve donned a blindfold and tied myself to the floor of a dungeon in a simulated kidnap scene and waited in that position for the best part of half an hour, knowing that at any moment Elita and her man will arrive and take me apart.

I’ve nervously waited for the arrival of a Mistress I’ve never met or spoken to and whom I won’t be able to see, desperately hoping she’s been given enough of a guide as to what I can and can’t take for the next hour to at least be bearable.

What drives all this? What makes the loss of sight such a turn-on?

The easy answer is that I’m a masochist, and the blindfold lets me focus all my attention on the physical sensations I so crave.

But the fear-seeking adrenaline junky that is part of my make up wants this too. When I’ve been waiting in the self imposed dark for twenty minutes and the unknown mistress’s key finally turns in the door; that’s real fear, not the easy fear that comes with popcorn in a horror movie, but gut-wrenching, clammy, heart-pumping fear and it’s utterly delicious.

My last answer might seem a paradox. Surely, in asking for the blindfold, I’m seeking isolation, the role of the Mistress only to fire shafts of pain at me through the darkness. The truth is the exact opposite. I’m seeking communication; not the easy communication of things said and things seen, but the much harder communication of things felt and things sensed. This is the most rewarding communication of all, and the deeper the apparent isolation, the more intense will be the sense of connection when it is pierced.

To be with someone you’ve never met, can’t see and can’t talk to; someone who’s name you perhaps don’t even know, and yet to feel intimately connected to them; so connected that the slightest, feather-light touch, or the momentary catch in a slow-drawn breath, feel laden with intimacy and with meaning; well, that’s a very special thing indeed.

I’ll finish with these words borrowed from an earlier post about a session with an unseen and unknown Mistress.

We’re in a place where her pain, her touch and my responses to those things are how we communicate. Denied visual communication by the blindfold and verbal communication by the gag, her cane stroke says, “I see you.” The way I breathe in sharply and present myself for the next stroke says “and I see you.” It’s like a dance between two blind people who speak different languages, communicating only through the physical. It’s intense and erotic and new and exciting and I want all of it.

Much more blindfold kink here: