Packing for my Eroticon weekend I had a (fortunately temporary) moment of distress when I couldn’t find a favourite black shirt. I tweeted in mock alarm:
Panicccc!
This is NOT a drill
My special Dom shirt is missing!
No, really!
I’d taken to wearing the same soft black shirt every time.
It’s a trigger, pushing my masochistic self into the background.
Must have left it in a hotel.
I’ll just have to let @MissLillyWatson beat me up!— Bibulous One (@BibulousOne) March 17, 2018
I had a few humorous replies, including one from Lilly herself, suggesting she had stolen the shirt so the Dom/Sub roles would have to be reversed in our planned session. The truth is, as I said in the tweet, putting this particular shirt on has become part of my preparation for playing as a Dom, a kinky wake-up call for a side of me that is often hidden by my more masochistic self.
I’ve changed over the last year or so. The ‘About Me’ page on my blog describes me as “somewhat submissive masochist who likes to switch,” suggesting that the “submissive masochist” is who I am, while the “switch” is more a role I like to play.
I rather think that the word “Switch” can stand on its own now. When I’m with Lilly or with the strongly submissive Katie, I don’t see the session as role play, but as me occupying a very real part of myself.
There are many sub-species of Dominant and I am beginning to understand mine. My Dominant wants to explore sensations and develop electricity through the creation and release of tension. My Dominant is always seeking connection; I don’t want the submissive to be eyes down, looking at my feet, but to look me boldly in the eye and accept the challenge I have laid out for her. Ultimately I want her to let herself go and freefall in the sensations I have created, freefall in the pain and the pleasure until she looses track of which is which, finally collapsing into the safety of my protecting arms. That’s my Dominant.
So, for Sinful Sunday, here is the shirt itself, thankfully washed, ironed and returned to service, ready for my next meeting, which, May being a big birthday month for me, may not be that far away. It may not be that far away at all.
I looked for a post to illustrate what I said above about “My Dominant.” I picked this old tale of dominance and submission, written as a fantasy before I had really explored these things. The fact that this post was written before I had played out what it describes, suggests to me that, through my recent exploration, my Dominant has been awakened rather than created.
More Sunday Sin here:
Special shirt or no, it’s a great photo!
What was lost has now been found. Great shot.
I just had a very good discussion about how attire helps with putting someone in the right frame of mind for play. It definitely made me think. Thank you for sharing your shirt experience
Nice picture…
I love a black shirt on a man! Looks very sexy.
PP x
Very sexy and Domly 😊
Such a sexy shot x
You look like you mean business, so hot! X
Glad you found the shirt, it definitely eventuates that Domly look. xx
I was tempted to sing ” I’m too sexy for my shirt…so sexy it hurts!”
But you might think I’m taking the piss!
Keep up the great blog
J.
A man in a shirt, waist coat, suit, just one or all three of these clothes is one hot sexy man.
Very very nice xxxxx
” I don’t see the session as role play, but as me occupying a very real part of myself.” This part resonated with me deeply. I would say it like this, “All those different parts of me you see? That’s who I am.” Beautifully written words.
It is funny the rituals we often unknowingly create for ourselves.
Mollyx
So, where was the shirt? Cool shot.
Aha – part of the ‘dressing up for the erotic encounter’ to which I can relate well. I love this reveal: “my Dominant has been awakened rather than created.”
It is a very sexy shirt as well. I think it’s good to have something remind you of what you are and what is about to happen.
Missy x
Very sexy shot – I love a good leather belt!