If you follow me on twitter or on here, you may have seen that last week I visited my brother at his beautiful cave house in Spain and came out to him as BibulousOne, award winning sex blogger and all-round kinky fucker. I described the moment I revealed this part of my story, and the flood of emotion it caused for me, in this post..
His response at the time was wonderful, finding things in his own life that helped him relate to what he was learning about mine. After I had returned home, I wondered if that empathy would remain, or whether exposing all these things he’d learned about his older brother to the cold light of day might make him see them differently, or, indeed, might make him see me differently.
It seems I needn’t have worried. This (with minimal editing) is the letter he sent me a few days after I returned home. .
Hi XXX,
I’m not sure how all of this will turn out, but hopefully you will read it how I intended it to be written.
Thanks for yours. Please DONT feel that you need to change anything in your writing because I might read it. That (IMO) would be fundamentally wrong and would feel (to me) as though you might restrict your writing out of concern for my thoughts on it. It’s very clear to me that your followers on there love your writing because of your honesty and the clarity with which you (brilliantly) express your torrid emotions, and to change that now would be wrong.
To be honest, I doubt whether I’d visit your site again unless you specifically told me/asked me to read something on there. It’s certainly not that I’m not interested in it, but more out of respect for you, that that is a private side of your life. Being totally honest, some ‘unprocessed’ thoughts flashed across my head, when I read about our discussions at the restaurant, as though that was something personal between you and I that maybe I didn’t want shared. Further reflection and introspection, soon allayed those thoughts and I’m totally fine with it, and totally get why you wanted to put details of our chat on your blog, so please don’t worry about that.
I really appreciate that you told me all about this side of your life and I’m glad it helped you to trust in me and open up to it. I know how much it helped me, to finally get all the gambling out to pretty much anyone who would listen. I can well imagine the stress and pain you have been through, living a lie in your two marriages for so long, and the relief that you can now, finally, start to embrace something that has been inside you for so very long. The last thing I want is for you to now take any sort of step backwards, because you have told me about it.
Speaking more about my direct thoughts about BDSM, there is a fair bit I can’t, and doubt I ever will, get my head around, but again that is fine, and certainly doesn’t give me any right to criticise it or mock it. Fundamentally my lack of comprehension lies in the pain aspect. To me pain (physical pain) is very one dimensional and is something we are programmed to avoid. The prospect of myself getting beaten to the extent I’ve seen and read about on your blog, simply isn’t something I could ever imagine as being pleasurable. That said, I get the whole idea of heightening our senses with blindfolds, or role play, in so far as taking on different personas, and that side of it. I’m sure I could get off on the idea of having a very submissive female partner catering for my every whim, but am sure I could never go anywhere with the role of me being submissive.
Anyway I think that’s it for now. I hope you get the shitstorm at work sorted and have every confidence you will. Ultimately you should do what’s best for you.
Cheers bro
xxx
The original post about our emotional dinner, in case you missed, it is here.
good food and revelations – quite a combo
More Wednesday wickedness here:
I’m super impressed with how receptive and accepting he was. Perhaps it’s because I’m a woman, but any overtures I make about my sex life to my brother have always been met with this attitude that I’m a nun and therefore don’t have sex. To reveal this side of myself would just cause headache.
…. And breathe!! How wonderful that he can support and sympathise although he admits that he may never understand – to me that says he gets it! I nearly said to you that he was unlikely to visit your blog so carry on being Bib1 unflitered, so I’m glad I was right!
You have endured enough hiding, lying and suppressing in some of your most important relationships, I’m glad this important one with your brother is warts and all now – very refreshing!
This is impressively wonderful to read as an addendum to the full story. I’m really glad it worked out for you both so well.
Almost makes we wish I had a sibling … almost 😉
This is just lovely. As a person who plays emotions quite close to the vest with family, I sometimes don’t give them enough credit for knowing me and loving me unconditionally. You took a huge leap of faith and it payed off in beautiful ways. You’ve given me a lot to think about in how/if I might share Maria. Thank you!
This is wonderful! So happy your brother put your mind at ease, even though there was something in me saying you don’t need to worry at all 🙂
Rebel xox