A PLAY PUNISHMENT, OR WAS IT? (kotw)

Listen to me carefully. Go to the bathroom and take a shower. Return in a robe and black knickers and kneel in front of me here.

Do you understand?

Good Girl.

So. You sent me a stupid smiley cat emoji after I told you not to do it again. Why would you do that?

That’s a very poor answer. But sending me the cat emoji is not what this is about. That would have been the emoji equivalent of wiggling your bum at me and asking for a slap. If that was what this was about, you wouldn’t be kneeling in front of me and you’d have had a few soft slaps as a teasing funishment. Now, I’d be kissing you, which is what I’ve been waiting to do for days, in fact since I knew you were coming.

Instead, all my careful planning for an intimate get-together is out of the window and you’re kneeling in front of me to be disciplined. Is that what you wanted?

It’s not what I wanted either.

Do you not have any understanding how dangerous what you are doing is? You flew six hours to meet someone you’d never met and went straight to his hotel room. No asking for references. No meeting for lunch on neutral ground. Here you are. Naked in a locked hotel room, kneeling in front of a 6’ 2” man who makes no secret of the pleasure he derives from spanking women.

What the actual fuck were you thinking?

Exactly. You had no fucking idea. But here’s the key thing. Having decided to take that risk, what is the one thing, THE ONE THING, you have to get absolutely right?

Yes, the pre-session negotiation of limits.

When I asked you about limits you said you couldn’t do anal play didn’t you? My thought was “What a shame,” I might have enjoyed putting lube on my finger and working it into your tight little arse. But I’m gladly going to keep away from that because you’ve made clear you don’t want it.

In return, what was the one thing I said I wouldn’t tolerate?

That’s right, I don’t want disrespectful, brattish behaviour. It destroys the mood for me. And yet less than an hour later, that’s exactly what you’re giving me.

Look, you’ve come a long way and I don’t want this to cast a pall over the whole weekend. I’d much rather deal with this now and move on to the intimacy we’ve both been looking forward to.

Did you read the blog post I sent you about the two types of spanking?

And do you realise why our first kinky encounter now has to be a punishment spanking not the slow, sensual spanking we had planned?

Good girl. And, for one final time, do I have your consent to give you a punishment spanking, as described in the blog, right now.

Thank you, that’s very brave, very brave indeed.

Now please remove your robe, come here and climb over my knee.

 

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The current Kink Of The Week topic is play punishment and that’s exactly what this was. Or, at least, that is what this was intended to be; despite the severe tone, this was still intended to be a game. Although we had never met, in our many, many messages before she flew across The States for a weekend in Las Vegas we had agreed to jump straight into a punishment scene when she arrived. I realise that seems a high-risk strategy, fraught with pit-falls, but that was where we had got to, and the whole cat emoji thing had been part of the game. It had been agreed once more over Champagne in the lobby bar when we got to the hotel. I had used the formal phrase “Do you consent….”, in each case receiving enthusiastic affirmation.

I had formed the impression that we were playing with a punishment kink that was well established.

And yet, about half way through the speech I sensed a change. Her shoulders sagged, her eyes left my gaze and dropped to focus on the floor between us, and she seemed to become forlorn. As I went on, she seemed to be overcome by a deep remorse that welled up inside her and she looked close to tears. When she climbed over my knee, she was shaking.

We discussed what had happened at length afterwards.

My words had done more than create a scene, they had made it so real for her that any sense of this being a “play” punishment had faded away. By the time I had finished speaking, she was convinced that this man she had fallen for through his blog and crossed a continent to meet, was indeed disappointed with her for her unsafe behaviour and angry with her for disrupting his carefully laid plans. He was now going to punish her for these things, not as a bit of kinky, role-play fun but because she needed to be punished.

Was it wrong for me to lead us into a consensual non-consent punishment scene on a first meeting? L’s answer was: “Absolutely not. It was intense as fuck and I loved it.” However, I realised afterwards that, while a play punishment linked to the cat emoji would have been fine, this was too much. It became not so much a play punishment, but a real one, in a relationship that was brand new and where there was no established, negotiated discipline/punishment dynamic. It still makes me shudder to think how much I had put at risk by doing that.

In BDSM, consent is not always enough.

She did climb over my knee and I did spank her, but not in the vicious, uncaring way described in my  I Love Spanking blog post. The actual spanking was short and sensitive to her responses, as it needed to be in this first meeting. I stopped it earlier than I had imagined doing and became, once again, my affable and affectionate self.  She sat on my knee and we cuddled, drank more champagne and looked forward to our weekend together.

Then, my natural dynamic of sensual, affectionate domination having been properly established, I cuffed her hands over her head with a rope trapped over the bathroom door and, holding hands, we dived deep down the rabbit hole together.

We stayed there for most of the weekend.

By the way, if you are busy, whatever you do don’t put ANIME SPANKING into a search engine.

You’re welcome!

 

More Kink Of The Week posts on the theme of play punishment here: