“Thank You, Mistress”
At times I describe myself as “not very submissive” and indeed the outer reaches of the world of female supremacy and male subjugation, the world of Sardax and his wonderful art, are places I have no real desire to visit.
Any time I use the honorific “Mistress” I feel a change come over me that is part physical and part mental but is distinct and unique..
External stimuli to the body can produce physical changes, releasing a class of chemicals called neurotransmitters, changing the make-up of the chemical soup in which our brain operates, altering how the mind responds and impacting our mood and our emotions; making us ‘feel different’ if you like. Two groups are particularly important and well recognised in BDSM: fear raises the levels of adrenaline, while pain has the same effect on endorphins and a skilled Mistress will play with these chemical stimuli, balancing or unbalancing them during the session at will. People have also analysed how varying dopamine and serotonin levels contribute feelings of tranquillity, joy and self-confidence to our mid session feelings.
However, I have searched in vain to find the name for the very particular set of chemicals which are produced when I use the phrases, “Yes, Mistress,” “No, Mistress” or “Thank you, Mistress.” The effect on my mind-set, on my responses, on how I feel, is just as profound and just as identifiable as that of the better-known “session” chemicals. I want to postulate the existence of a further class of neurotransmitters, as yet undescribed in the scientific literature, which I shall call “submissaphins”.
I experienced a release of submissaphins recently, with a Mistress with whom I have never sessioned, indeed have only met once and that limited to five minutes at the Femdom Ball. She said a kind thing about a post I had written.
I love reading your writing. Beautifully evocative piece of your soul 💕
— 〰ᗰISTᖇᕮSS ᕮᐯIᒪYᑎᕮ 〰 ᵠᵘᵉᵉᶰ ᵒᶠ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵗʰᶤᶰᵍ (@MsEvilyne) January 13, 2018
“That’s nice,” I thought, and tweeted a short reply finishing “Thank you, Mistress.” I felt it immediately, a surge of warmth towards the Mistress, gratitude that she had smiled down on me and, pride in her recognition and her complement.
But, more than that, I felt submission.
Her complement and, just as importantly, my response, immediately triggered the same calm, submissive mindset I’d have felt had the exchange happened in a session. It lasted for an hour or so, receiving a little boost every time I revisited the message on twitter, just as my fear might receive an adrenaline boost if I revisited a more threatening message from a Mistress. I feel this surge of my newly named submissaphins every time a Mistress follows me on twitter, comments on my blog or, best of all, retweets a link to a post. It’s the same surge I feel in a session when Elita enters a room, when she handles me or when she sits on my chest and squeezes the breath out of my windpipe. The emotional state triggered by submissaphin is one of calm acceptance, a narrowing of focus from the cares of the world to the here and now and a sense of deep and profound trust.
So, while I may not be of a very submissive nature compared to some in the BDSM world, once my thoughts are governed by the presence of submissaphin in my blood stream, I will submit, and submit deeply and profoundly.
In fact I’ll submit until I have taken all she wants to give.