By | 26th September 2017

Last time I tried to drill down into what it meant to me to play a BDSM session with Elita’s man, Molly, the lovely and wonderful doyenne of sex blogging suggested it was something I was only beginning to explore and would come back to. Well she was right, because here I am; coming back to it.

I like the way blogging allows me to take thoughts out of my head and write them down. It lets me examine them from different angles, looking to see how the light catches them, discovering which seem dull and which gleam with new discoveries.

As I wrote earlier, my “morning-after” thoughts were all about Elita, the incredible violence of the caning she endured and the importance of her help in getting through mine. However, and aided no doubt by the amazing cane stroke video she made after the sesssion, I keep coming back to how different it was to be caned by him.

He is undoubtedly very, very good at it. He can tap a point on my backside, wrap the cane behind him and bring it back onto exactly that point with a precisely measured amount of force. He can do that again and again, moving the cane over the target area, choosing to land strokes side by side or on top of each other at will. Importantly, I sense he knows exactly where I am in the session, when to pause a little and let me recover, when to push forward and take me to those new levels of pain, new levels of both challenge and reward. He was hitting us both very hard and yet, strange though it may sound, there was a care in how he went about his work.

He was a study in absolute concentration and exquisite focus. Something about his stance, the way he seemed so centred, so completely in control of of his body, was mesmerising. There was a stillness before the stroke as he collected himself. The back swing and the strike became somehow a single motion that discovered the elasticity in a cane that had seemed stiff when stationary, discovered the power in it as it wound behind his body, then accelerated to catch up with his wrist, perfectly straight at the point of impact. This is not merely “hitting someone with a stick;” there is skill and craft in it, artistry even.

Although we called it a “judicial” caning, there was little sense of punishment here; rather it felt like an extreme experience to be explored, relished and shared with each other. Elita and I were on a rollercoaster of his design, with soaring highs and stomach churning lows; with  terrifying, adrenaline fuelled, descents and periods of stillness where we seemed to hang in the air. And when he had finished beating us, we walked off that roller coaster hugging and laughing with  the boundless joy of teenagers at a theme park. We felt alive, exhilarated and renewed.

So, where next with this? How, as a Twitter friend asked, do you folllow that?

This is surely the beauty of BDSM. Elita and I have been playing together for nearly two years now, yet we are still in the foothills of the high mountains of sensations and emotions that we could explore.

But specifically, what next with him?

Well, I think that one day, perhaps not the next session or the one after that, but one day nonetheless, I would like to be in a dungeon alone with him. I would like to be, for an hour or so, the sole focus of that skill and artistry, to let him test me, push me through my limits and find new ones. I’d want him to frighten me a little, challenge me, open me up and let me glimpse those high mountains.

And when we’ve finished, I’d like to go have a beer with him. We’ll swap BDSM war stories and generally talk the kind of bollocks that blokes like to talk after they’ve done something edgy together.  

judicial the video




the aftermath

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8 thoughts on “HIM, HIS CANE

  1. Aurora Glory

    He sounds incredibly talented. As someone who has only had fumbled spankings an experience like that seems beyond belief. I can only imagine how amazing it was. The image certainly helps with my imaginings though! I don’t have it in me to enjoy such painful pleasures, I really wish I did.
    Aurora x

  2. Marie Rebelle

    Oh my, this is so wow. I believe I am not the only one continuously going back to the gif, watching it over and over. Seeing the swing of his arm, the movement of his body but also the impact of the cane. It’s just so beautiful!

    Rebel xox

  3. KP

    At risk of dominating the comments, Molly’s point reminded me of something I meant to say about his technique in this .gif.

    As a cricket fan, with an interest in technique, this .gif really shows his skill is like that of a top sportsman: his body is absolutely still, the movement of the arm almost totally lateral. Total conservation of movement which you need to do something repeatedly without getting exhausted. The key is not moving your head, which betrays a lot of batsmen and, probably, here too. Plus subtle movement of the hip which is key to getting power into a strike in karate. The power isn’t in the arm movement but the body.

  4. May More

    Am really a fan of the way you write – What ever you have to say I’d like to read it. The Gif is something else – blows me away – excellent!

  5. Rebecca

    I feel that this is such a powerful piece of writing, and what comes through is your respect for him in how he administers and behaves during the session. You expand with each blog post meaning the reader is waiting with perhaps bated breath for the next venture. The high from this session has extended the pleasure.

  6. Molly

    I remain mesmerized by the little gif. You are right that he has a way about him, his stance, the control of it all and the smooth movement is all amazing to watch. I may have watched this a few times now…..

    As for how do you follow that, as you say one of the joys of kink and BDSM for me is that there is always more to explore, different toys, different positions, different body parts etc etc. We are still sharing new things and having ‘firsts’ together.

    I shall be interested to see where this particular journey takes you though. I think you have a deep respect for this man and I think what you know of him so far you also like him as a person. I suspect also your trust in Elita and her trust in him means you feel safe with him in the same way you do with her. Those are very positive things and it will be interesting to see what else unfolds between you all


  7. KP

    Sorry, what I meant to add was – by removing the link between BDSM and orgasm, it forces one to question the nature of sexual desire itself, what it means and how it is expressed, which others explore through chastity or other channels. Once you take away the teleological narrative of sexual activity (towards the orgasm) how do you define it? And does that even matter?

  8. KP

    Really interesting, again, Mr B. That thought of removing Elita is really interesting because it forces you to focus on the experience itself and remove any confusing/comforting layers of sexual desire either as an association or crutch and think about the purity of the experience itself. If it’s not directly sexual, then what is it? Or is there, in fact, a homoerotic element that will emerge? Lots of questions and challenges.


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