Its not often I get a comment longer that the post being commented about! Kim recently left this comment on a very early post about my love for spanking. I found the way she writes about her desire to be spanked way past the point of tears very intense. I have to admit that the idea of taking someone that far is hot for me.
With her permission, I am sharing the full comment below.
I thought about editing this for Kim, perhaps refining some of the language and replace some missing words. But I’m just putting it here, pretty much as she sent it to me. Kim has dyslexia and I don’t want to patronise her. Also, what comes across to me from her writing is rawness and intensity, lots of intensity and I don’t want to risk losing that.
I hope you enjoy it.
I absolutely love a good cathartic release spanking. But when I do I want to be spanked while I am crying not just until I am loose my composure, I want to be sobbing out of control. It’s the whole power exchanged that happens between me and my boyfriend. I want him get all assertive and direct, it turned me on inside. The trepidation and anticipation is thrilling. For once, I’m not in control and I know he has to be but I’m a natural control freak, I don’t want to be. To give that control up is terrifying, exciting and exhilarating; it gives me an adrenaline and endorphin rush. I want age regression, I want the challenge of fight and flight. The anticipation of what I know will be a painful spanking is outright enchanting to my senses. I want to willingly surrender to him. Everything is turned on inside when I accept a spanking and it’s not worth taking unless it’s unbearable and doesn’t make me loose my composure.
Everyone is right about crying though, for some it’s an emotional condition and some it’s a physical thing. However, I would like to propose it’s preparation, corporation, communication, will power and determination on partners. For me it about mental preparation, determination by both me and my partner. I want to be pushed over the edge about once every other month but I too have a extremely high pain tolerance. In order to get what I fell I need and want, it’s takes a resolve both for me and my boyfriend. It took him over a year to finally get it and to learn how to get me to that point. It takes me a good three days to mentally prepare for it.
I love the age regression but I’m not all into the role play. I’m his girlfriend not his daughter and he isn’t my daddy. I’m not into being restrained. For me, there’s no sense to force myself into taking something that I’m shouldn’t be will myself into remaining in position and accept. I’m not against him not taking charge some, locking my legs and holding my arm back. But I feel, if I’m want submit to a whupin I asked for, than I to muster the will power to submit to him and process we discovered works for us. That too is an adrenaline rush and more satisfying to both me and my boyfriend if, by shear will power, I accept it and stay in position no matter how bad it hurts. That’s just us I know everyone is different. But I challenge you consider what I’m about to say give it try.
The preparation is mental corporation, communication determination for both of you. Once I’ve decided that I want a full blown absolutely real age regressive and cathartic sobbing release spanking, I have to willingly give up all my control. This isn’t easy unless you are connected with your partner, for us it’s not about playing anymore, it’s therapeutic but is also cereal. Giving up every bit of control before you start is half the mental battle. It’s a lot easier going into it when I’ve already determine in my heart and mind to give all control over to him. Once I do this it’s easier to allow myself to give in and get that therapeutic cathartic sobbing release I want. It’s scary I know but this translates into complete and unstrained submission to the spanking process. That means no safe word, no swat limit and no time limit. Knowing this before we start the spanking, that I willing gave up have these controls starts the process for me. I have to resolve in my heart and know that it’s not going stop until he decides, not me. It’s also a commitment and determination on my boyfriend parts to make sure he’s going give me the most real and painful spanking he can without holding back. This too is hard for him to do especially because he loves me, but he’s gotten use it when it happens.
The actual spanking is intense and lengthy. I do have a really high pain tolerance. To make sure we are both in agreement we go over what type of spanking it’s going to while I push everything down to my knees in preparation for going over his knee. I keep everything on to make sure there’s a distinguishing line from anything else. But it is of course on the bare ass, absolutely no protection. Yes, I love this types of spankings too about once every other month or so. My boyfriend has gotten pretty good at getting me to that point now. Yes, it means absolutely no warm up and starting right off on a cold bottom. Yes, I ask him to go all in full blown as hard and fast as he possibly can from the very first swat to the very last. Yes, I prefer the shock and awe beginning. It hurts from the beginning but it has too to accomplish our goal. Another thing, we discovered is that the thinner stingy implement are more effective in this case. His choice implement is the flat part of the handle of a bamboo back scratcher from Walmart. This allows him to wail on my backside without breaking. It’s not thick like a big paddle and gives him more control swing it. It’s long and just wide enough to really sting like all get out. It’s not just the intensity that gets me over the edge, it also about duration. He has to commit to keep up that intensity throughout the entire first spanking, until I finally loose my composure. Yes, it takes a pretty dam hard, intense and lengthy paddling to get me crying. But remember we both agreed this would happen before it ever starts. He also agreed that he wouldn’t stop either until I’m crying really hard. Then, I have to be laid over the couch and he uses his belt again, until he feels I had enough, no swat limit, safe word or time limit until he feels I had enough not me.
Knowing this before it starts is half the battle lines for a therapeutic cathartic sobbing release I want. It’s preparation, corporation, communication, will power and determination on both our parts.
Can anyone else relate with the no warm up fast and hard “shock and awe” start, and wanting it that way?
Anyone else have really high pain tollerance like me?
Let Kim know with a comment if you enjoyed her writing!