By | 29th December 2017

Somehow this blog is still here.  I am constantly disobeying my own instructions to myself to take it down; yet, at the end of 2017 here it is and running at eight or nine thousand page reads a month which seems like a lot for so niche a subject area!

The blog does serve a number of valuable purposes for me:

  • It gives me a place to let of steam after an intense session, working through the strong emotional reactions I often have.
  • It lets me write, something I only discovered I needed to do when I started the blog two years ago.
  • It lets me explore complicated thoughts about my kinks and my somewhat untidy family life. The need to express complex issues in a simple way helps me to define and then refine how I feel about these things.
  • It allows me to relive experiences from years ago, transporting myself back to the dungeon or hotel room and feeling again the intense physical and emotional challenges of my BDSM experience.

Perhaps most importantly, the blog has put me in touch with a network of caring, empathetic people amongst whom I can be myself, all of myself and that has become important to me.

I’ve been luckily enough to acquire a lot of new followers in the latter part of the year, particularly since I found myself at Number 4 in the Top 100 Blogs 2017 list, something I still struggle to relate to. So this post is for people who, having found my blog, might want to read a little deeper.


(Please add a comment if you find something you like, something that makes you think or just to share your own experience).

Three submissive sessions:

  • Subbing with a difference. Subbing alongside Elita rather than to her is always a special experience. Her man plays the dominant role in this scene. The interaction as we played a card game that took us through beatings with 12 different instruments was incredibly intimate and personal.
  • Oh God. This was so intense. My first (and only) experience of Ball Busting. What I remember most was not the pain or shock of it but the care with which Elita led me up to it let me come down from it afterwards.
  • How could this not be here: The hardest session of them all, where Elita made me break down and cry for the first time in my life and then pushed me over that edge again and again. Not just a session, but somehow an important event in my life.

Three Dominant sessions:

  • The glorious image of Katie in a dungeon would have made this an obvious choice. But I remember it most for the intensity of her reactions to the things I was doing with her.
  • Lilly’s first BDSM session is something we both still talk about. I’ve chosen her description of it rather than mine. I love how she describes our post session high.
  • As Lilly and I have spent more time together, she has become bolder in her exploration of BDSM and I have became bolder in my exploration of sex, something that had been absent from my life for many years. This post is full of both.

Three somewhat thoughtful posts:

  • This short post made the eLust Top 3. It describes the downside of my masochism, the  black obsession with it that can take over my life.
  • At Eroticon several people asked Mistress Elita and I about our relationship. This post was my response and, despite how deep we’ve been down the rabbit hole together since then, it is still as valid as when I wrote it.
  • Playing sex games with a man in the room adds a whole new twist. Here I tried to wrestle my thoughts about this type of session to the ground and at least made some progress.
  • OK so this makes four. Don’t care; this was important to me. An exploration of Intimacy and the Girlfriend Experience

Three stories:

  • Being beaten in a public space is one of my darker fantasies. Here it gets a run out in the form of a 500 word flash fiction where a guy’s mistress takes him to a femdom event.
  • This hot little story about combining femdom and chocolate (!) was clearly me saying to Elita: “Hey, lets try this”. And we did!
  • This wasn’t really a story at all but a very kinky shopping scene I had thought through for a particular submissive but never played out. I will do so one day.

I haven’t linked to old Sinful Sunday images. They are easy to find using the Sinful Sunday category option in the side bar.

Have a great 2018.

number 12

More wickedness here:

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4 thoughts on “A YEAR IN 12 POSTS

  1. sissy_maid_melody

    I guess I came across your writings something over a year ago and was immediately struck by the way you describe situations, the feelings and mindset in a way in which I can immediately relate and empathise.

    Personal experience told me that the dialogue you were having with the anonymous ether was incredibly personal and genuine. Writing is a great way of assimilating these experiences and placing them in context. I do it myself privately, have had a published blog in the distant past and might consider doing so again in the future.

    It’s an interesting conflict regarding thoughts of taking down the blog. It feels good and cathartic at first writing anonymously to no one in particular. With an audience, some of whom you’ve even met, it is a different kettle of fish and the mind can think – bloody ‘ell.

    So long as you keep writing, I’ll keep reading as it can also help me put some personal experiences in context.

  2. Mrs Fever

    I second Molly’s “PS” suggestion. This is a great overview in terms of interests and experience, and the posts you’ve chosen are reflective of your journey thus far as well as indicative of where you’re “at” currently.

    Congratulations on your place on the Top 100 list ~ your writing is thoughtful and evocative, and the accolades are well deserved.

    Happy New Year!

  3. Molly

    This is a lovely look back through your extraordinary year here on your blog. For purely selfish reasons I hope the urge you have to shut things down here never wins out.


    Ps… you should also link to this post from your about me page as it really gathers, who you are and where you are at currently, together well.

  4. Marie Rebelle

    I think this is a great way to reflect on a year and when seeing which posts you have chosen, I was surprised that I even remembered some very clearly 🙂

    Rebel xox


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